Miss Manners

Personally, Miss Manners would be inclined to let them have the pleasure of handling their own presents entirely - choosing, finding and purchasing.

An engagement party gift 'request' 2011

If there is one follow-up, Miss Manners suggests, "Yes, some of them are boys," but for further persistence, "No doubt she'll be flattered at your interest."

A valentine should delight, not disturb Judith Martin 2011

This strikes Miss Manners as the ideal way to become acquainted with the neighbors.

Give the cleaning lady a tidy sum as a bonus Judith Martin 2010

And, Miss Manners regrets to say, it doesn't always have the intended effect even then.

Miss Manners: ‘Really': You should try it 2010

At the time, however, Miss Manners would have been tempted to look at her wide-eyed and said: I don't know.

Miss Manners washingtonpost.com 2010

Miss Manners is well aware that there are some who do take offense at any such wishes, specific or not, including "Have a lovely day."

Holiday greetings and high anxiety Judith Martin 2010

The approach of "We're not going to let this get us down" does not strike Miss Manners as offering that.

Miss Manners: Balloons and rainbows belie the gravity of death 2010

Or, as Miss Manners would characterize your group -- adults who want to go about their work seriously without feeling obligated to pretend to be excited about the birthdays of their colleagues.

Miss Manners: Polite evasion required with election-day snoops 2010

Miss Manners suggests you call it a draw and resolve to make a greater effort if you must attend another funeral.

Miss Manners: Failure to thank fundraiser costs politician goodwill 2010

Miss Manners is aware that the lady will then protest that she wasn't electioneering -- just being nosy, as it were -- but the question will have grabbed the attention of her colleagues.

Miss Manners: Polite evasion required with election-day snoops 2010