the united states of america love

the united states of america

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  • Oh, lordy. I love my country, but I really, really hate its name.

    Imagine a nice young couple who get married and start a family. These doting parents love their children, so they name them "Girl #1", "Girl #2", and "Boy #1".

    Wait, what?! These aren't names, they're descriptions! Those poor kids deserve more than descriptions -- they deserve names. Same goes for countries. Citizens ought to be able to hold up their heads with pride and say "I come from X", where X is a NAME of a PLACE, like "Canada" or "Hungary", or "Kyrgyzstan".

    And then there's us. You know those states? In North America? How they're all united and everything? Yeah, them. Well, we don't have a name for them, so let's just call them the "united states" of America.

    Gosh darn it. We are going to BEAT this! And in the meantime, if you're looking for us, we'll be over in the corner, commiserating with the United Arab Emirates and the Central African Republic.

    August 28, 2009

  • Oh man. I'm sorry. I can sympathize and understand this argument, but I think it also goes to the heart of how Americans see themselves.

    If we had a name like Hungary or Kyrgyzstan, it would seem to indicate some unity of ethnicity, religion, language, etc. And the citizens of the United States do not have that particular type of unity. We are really good at compartmentalizing ourselves into a billion little groups. But we're also good at thinking of ourselves as one united people: it's a unity of civic ideals: the belief in the idea of the United States, more than any particular ethnic/racial/religious/origins group, is what really makes us Americans.

    In that sense, when you think about it, the name's pretty perfect.

    Feel free to argue—I'm certainly not trying to quash any strong emotions on the topic. (These sorts of ideas are exactly the sort of thing that will launch me into a full-fledged history dork out.) I often catch myself wistfully imagining another name, but then I feel better about the name when I think about this idea of a civic religion uniting 300 million people—and inspiring countless other millions over the (couple of) centuries. I think the whole thing is pretty neat. :)

    On a more pragmatic note... I have always thought that the perfect corporate name is "The Corporation for Public Broadcasting." Thank heaven, it's a company that actually SAYS what it is they're FOR. How can you get any clearer than that? For which reason I do have a soft spot of affection for the Central African Republic.

    August 28, 2009

  • Hey, some of us live in the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland... (It's a description, but at least we manage to slip Great into it.)

    August 28, 2009

  • True. True.

    Ptero, maybe we should consider something like "The Great United States of Greater North America, a.k.a. Great Americastan," or something.

    *ponders*

    August 29, 2009

  • The Untied States of America.

    August 29, 2009

  • See also my account at ს�?ქ�?რთველ�?.

    August 29, 2009

  • Seeitoldyouitwasntflatistan

    August 29, 2009

  • The United taStes of America

    August 29, 2009

  • Hi chained_bear! Thanks for bracketing history dork out -- it lead me to yeta, a truly excellent page. Yeta helped helped me realize that, no matter what They Might Be Giants say about James K. Polk, he was not a nice man. No siree bob. I hope we can incite many more history dork outs out of you!

    Now, to the arguing!

    *dons special sparkly Argument Cap*

    When I spoke of country names allowing citizens to hold up their heads with pride, it was mostly a rhetorical flourish that came upon me in the heat of my passion, like an attack of the vapours. Of course one can take pride in the phrase "United States of America" -- it is, as you say, a good expression of our national ideals.

    However, this lovely phrase is not suited to be a name, in much the same way that a lovely humuhumunukunukuapua'a is not suited to play the alpenhorn. In order to play the alpenhorn, you need to have certain attributes, such as alpenlegs, alpenarms, and a good alpenpucker. Even a very gifted humuhumunukunukuapua'a will not have these things. Far better to leave the poor little fish in the water, don't you think? And remove that tiny lederhosen, too. It's not at all fetching.

    When something needs to be referred to frequently and unambiguously, we give it a name. (For example, this is why we name hurricanes. We're not being cutesy, we just need a fast and accurate way to distinguish them from each other.) In order to be a good name, a word or phrase must have certain attributes. It should be should be fairly short, and it should be a proper noun. A descriptive phrase, even an excellent descriptive phrase like "The United States of America", will not have these things.

    If we grant that the states are, in fact, united, what are they united into? When the Constructicons united, they formed Devastator, a single unified entity. Clearly, the same is true of the United States. We've created a single big something out of many little somethings. And, this something needs to be referred to frequently and unambiguously. In short, it needs a name.

    August 29, 2009

  • I agree, Ptero. But America is how most English-speakers refer to it. That's good enough isn't it?

    August 31, 2009

  • I prefer Usa. Pronounced Oosa. (See the book Motel of the Mysteries.)

    September 1, 2009

  • Usa! I love it! (Does that make us Usans?)

    September 1, 2009

  • *sings* "Oo-oh say can you Seeitoldyouitwasntflatistaaaan..."

    September 1, 2009

  • I think it does, actually, but I read that book so long ago... Here's a link to it. I think you can view a couple pages online. A most excellent and thought-provoking (yet entertaining) tome.

    September 1, 2009

  • I lurve that book. And God bless the Oosa.

    September 1, 2009

  • I remember something about how "united" wasn't capitalized at the beginning of the Declaration of Independence--I think it had "the thirteen united States of America."

    November 17, 2010

  • True! By the way, I saw one of the Dunlap broadsides at the Morgan Library last Thursday, with sionnach.

    November 17, 2010

  • What a week you're having, Prolagus--you've gotten to see Sufjan, broadsides, and sionnach. I can't decide whether to be envious or exceedingly happy for you. Maybe both. :-)

    November 17, 2010

  • Don't be - The only reason why I keep myself busy is █████████████

    November 17, 2010

  • ████████?

    November 17, 2010

  • It's been months now.

    November 17, 2010

  • Was there █████ ███? Or was it just ███?

    November 17, 2010

  • I think there is always at least some ███████.

    November 17, 2010

  • Well, sure. But does ███████ always have to mean ███████?

    November 17, 2010

  • OK, maybe it wasn't honest of me to generalize. Let's say that it only applies to me, and that every time things seem to ███████ I end up ██████ ███████ everything.

    November 17, 2010

  • You shouldn't be so hard on yourself, ██████. If there's one constant in life, it's that ██████ ██████.

    November 17, 2010

  • That's the ██████ thing anybody has ever told me. It could only come from a ██████ like you. ██████ you, ruzuzu!

    November 17, 2010

  • This is probably what Keats would call ██████████.

    November 17, 2010

  • ██████ you, too, Prolagus. :-█

    I hope you ██████ ██████ and ██████ very soon.

    November 17, 2010

  • *████s ruzuzu*

    November 17, 2010

  • *████s Prolagus, Keats, Milosrdenstvi, ptero's special sparkly Argument Cap, this page, and the ████████ USA*

    November 17, 2010

  • You know, ████████ is probably the single best comment I've seen on Wordie.

    November 17, 2010

  • *████s chained_bear, too*

    November 18, 2010

  • Gosh, this new modem I was forced to buy to stop the red flashing light and get access to the interwebs is having all kinds of unexpected side effects. My phone line has developed a background wheeze suggestive of Darth Vader with pleurisy, and now it appears to be redacting out key on-screen text, in a disturbingly primitive cold-war kind of way.

    Pssst! Prolagus is even more charming in person than online. Hard to believe, I know. But those are the facts. I just report them.

    November 18, 2010

  • Redacting? Really? I have no idea what you're ████████ about.

    However, I am certain that Prolagus must be charming. It makes me very ████████ that you two were able to ████████.

    November 18, 2010

  • ████████

    November 18, 2010

  • Exactly.

    November 18, 2010

  • Well, if sionnach and Prolagus can manage to meet in real life (as opposed to Wordnik Life), then there's hope for the rest of us. :-D

    Besides, as my mother always says, "If you can't ██████ in your ████████, then you might as well just █████ for ███.

    November 21, 2010

  • Reesetee, I invite you, and ruzuzuzuzuzuzu and milos and anyone else for that matter, to my cabin in ████████ for ████████ and ██████████. If those ██████████ Prolagus and Sionnach can ████████, we can ████████ better!

    November 21, 2010

  • ██████ yeah! Thanks, yarb.

    Would you mind sending me directions? My e-mail address is ruzuzu@█████████.██

    November 21, 2010

  • Sorry, I can't send you directions because you accidentally redacted your email address.

    November 21, 2010

  • Oh, sorry, yarb, that was me. I'm demonstrating my new invention. I call it The Emperor's New Font. The words that you type in this font are only visible to intelligent, sensitive people who wear trendy clothing and appreciate postmodern art.

    Why am I doing this? Simple. I'm the ██████ pte-redact-yl!

    November 21, 2010

  • Ptero, that was the ██████ damn thing I've ever ██████!

    Yarb, I'm ████! Here's my Social Security number so you can make me your beneficiary: ████████████. Please don't give it out to anyone.

    Ruzuzu, meet me at ██████ and we can drive there together. Who's riding ████████?

    November 21, 2010

  • *how are they doing thaaaaaat?*

    November 21, 2010

  • Wait--what did you do, pterodactyl? I'm still not seeing it. The only thing I'd ever want to redact would be my PIN for my ATM card, which is XXXX.

    Anyway, thanks reesetee--should I bring a box of fufluns and my collection of mixtapes? I've got a lot of klezmer music.

    November 21, 2010

  • I love klezmer! I think it's the ██████.

    November 21, 2010

  • You're right, Prolagus. It's definitely the clarinet.

    November 22, 2010

  • If you're still not seeing it, ruzuzu, then let me just be the first to compliment you on your trendy clothing.

    November 22, 2010

  • Thanks for noticing! I did recently purchase a keffiyeh from the Halloween section of my local thrift store. It goes nicely with my tassled loafers, my trucker cap, my smoking jacket, and my Almost Solveig t-shirt (which I wear ironically).

    November 22, 2010

  • How did you guys know it's the clarinet?

    November 22, 2010

  • I think we hold that truth to be self-evident.

    November 22, 2010

  • That all Zebra finches are created equal?

    November 22, 2010

  • ██████

    Ha!

    November 24, 2010

  • What? I don't get it.

    *resumes discussion with tight-jean wearing, big-glasses sporting friends about ORLAN's transhumanism*

    November 24, 2010

  • ha██.

    i don't ███ it.

    November 24, 2010

  • I finally figured out how to ██████ and now I can't stop ███. This morning, Mr dontcry told me to ██████ or he'd ██████ and then I'd really know a day...

    ██████. I think he's still sore about the ██████ incident.

    November 24, 2010

  • dont cry.. lol.

    November 24, 2010

  • Who can blame your ██████ for being sore about the marmite incident...

    November 25, 2010

  • How did you guys know it's marmite?

    November 25, 2010

  • I think we hold that truth to be self-evident.

    November 25, 2010

  • *s███t!*

    November 25, 2010

  • That all sticky dark brown strongly flavored spreads based on a yeast extract are created equal?

    November 28, 2010

  • Life, liberty and the pursuit of sandwiches.

    November 29, 2010

  • See █████.

    January 18, 2011

  • *starts putting together a new mixtape*

    March 28, 2011

  • Happy National █████ Day!

    January 18, 2012

  • ooooh, I miss all of this so much. :)

    January 27, 2013