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Examples
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From my perspective, what you are describing as ’subtle mis-gendering’ doesn’t artificialise her gender, nor do I read it as third gendering.
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The mis-gendering is more subtle than wrong pronouns in this one (which, it is true occurs so often that I suppose we should be grateful it’s avoided that), but what it * does* do is artificialise her gender, suggest it to be less real than cis genders.
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My family does care about me, but I’ve had to defend myself, explain myself, put up with mistakes and mis-gendering, be constantly called by my old name and generally put up with bigotry and ignorance from them.
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