undecisively

To be present at -- an actual witness, too -- of this bitterness of death; to float, undecisively, in an incomprehensible mystery, between resemblance and reality; to hear everything, to see everything, without interfering with a single detail of agonizing suffering, was -- so the king thought within himself -- a torture far more terrible, since it might last forever.

The Vicomte de Bragelonne Or Ten Years Later being the completion of "The Three Musketeers" And "Twenty Years After" Alexandre Dumas p��re 1836