Tunie: The Devil and the Feathery Wife

About

Recorded by Martin Carthy.

Now there was an old farmer lived over the hill

And a poor old fellow they say

He was plagued by a scolding wife

The worst misfortune that day

And as he cut wood in the forest one day

Between dark mood and despair

The Devil himself, he jumped out of the bushes

And stood before his mare

"What's the matter?" the Devil, he cried,

"You look so discontent.

Haven't you got any money to buy your food

Or to pay your landlord rent?"

"What would you give me," the Devil, he cried,

"If I were to end your debate

And I gave you money and gear enough

So you'd never more want for meat?"

"But I've nothing to give you," the old man cried,

"I've nothing right here to my hand

But if you would do what you say for me,

I'll be at your command."

"Right and I'll make you a bargain," the Devil, he cried,

"A bargain you just couldn't miss

You bring me a beast at seven years' end

I'll try to say what it is.

"But if that beast I name aright

You mark what I do tell

You've got to toddle along with me

To view the ovens of Hell."

So the old man prospered and prospered well

It was all gained and spent

Till he came to the end of seven long years

Sorely he did lament.

"Oh, what is the matter?" his wife, she cried,

"You look so discontent--

Sure you've gotten some silly young girl with child

Making you sore lament."

"No, I've made a bargain with the Devil," he cried

"It was a bargain I just couldn't miss

I've got to bring him a beast at seven years' end,

He's got to say what it is.

"But if that beast he names aright

You mark what I do tell

I've got to toddle along with him

To view the ovens of Hell."

"Oh, never you worry," his wife, she cried,

"Be it happens, you'll pay for your deed

For the wit of a woman, it comes in handy

At times in an hour of need.

"Go and fetch me the droppings from all of our chickens

And spread them all over the floor

Stark naked I will strip myself

And I'll roll all over the floor.

"And fetch me the barrel of feathers," she said

Of the beasts we had for our tea,

And I'll roll and I'll roll all over in them

Till never an inch be free."

So she rolled and she rolled in feathers and droppings

from her head right down to her navel

By Christ, he said, what a terrible sight--

She looked far worse than the Devil.

Then the Devil himself came in

He began to steam and to hiss

"By Christ," he said, "What an awful sight

I'll be damned if I know what it is."

He started to shake and he started to quail

Saying, "Have you got any more of these at home?"

"Oh yes," he said, "I've got seven more

That in my forest do roam."

"Well if you've got seven more of these beasts

That in your forest do dwell,

I'll be as good as my bargain and I'll be gone

She's worse than the demons in Hell."

(I'd just like to point out that the wife is clearly the smart one in this song.) :-D