In contrast to elfsex, there is something warm and comforting about spooning with a hobbit.
Unless of course your partner's last name happens to be Bobbitt.
Some of my friends with a taste for rough trade have been known to hang out in some pretty shady haunts in Mordor, in an effort to hook up with a Nazgul.
Myself, if I'm struck with an irresistible urge to mate with some large ugly feathered thing, I just stop by the avian sanctuary and pick myself out a wounded bird.
Or - if you will forgive my use of a non-PC term - I look to hook up with a spaz-gull.
sionnach commented on the list what-you-think-tolkien-said-about-elf-sex-off-the-record
In the popular mind, we tend to think of elves as creatures that are elegant, ephemeral and - well - elfish.
But the reality is that, when it comes to sexual fulfillment, the denizens of Lothlorien are capable of being remarkably selfish.
Which is why knocking little furry boots with some elven beauty, no matter if she's a swell dish,
Is likely to leave you as annoyed and frustrated as if you had spent your time trying to get it on with a shellfish.
December 20, 2007
sionnach commented on the list what-you-think-tolkien-said-about-elf-sex-off-the-record
In contrast to elfsex, there is something warm and comforting about spooning with a hobbit.
Unless of course your partner's last name happens to be Bobbitt.
Some of my friends with a taste for rough trade have been known to hang out in some pretty shady haunts in Mordor, in an effort to hook up with a Nazgul.
Myself, if I'm struck with an irresistible urge to mate with some large ugly feathered thing, I just stop by the avian sanctuary and pick myself out a wounded bird.
Or - if you will forgive my use of a non-PC term - I look to hook up with a spaz-gull.
December 20, 2007